Marilyn came into my life at the perfect time to be the support I needed through all of the sometimes difficult and definitely trying times. And now that my girls are 21 and 24 respectively, I am having the relationships with them that I wonder if I could ever have had without Marilyn's guidance. Elizabeth, BC
“I love my family, every member is absolutely wonderful
exactly as they are.”
This sets a loving tone for the day.
This KidBit explains what I call "pre-programming your day", or putting everything in place before the day even begins so that you attract this into your life and more importantly you notice when it appears before your very eyes. By pre-programming your day with a tone of love you are already laying the groundwork for a loving day.
By loving your family exactly as they are you are starting your day with a respect for each of their individual tastes and choices. That kind of respect will build strong loving relationships that will take you through any tough stages with ease and gentleness.
Pre-programming can be used in all areas of your life, plan your day first thing in the morning with the feelings and desires your want to experience in that day. What is it you would like to be able to say at the end of your day. "I just had a wonderful day with my child, our relationship get stronger and more loving with every moment" Set that tone first thing in the morning and that is what you will create then its your responsibility to notice when it comes your way. You won't be able to use your "end of day phrase" if you don't see it when it happens.
So start right now by setting the tone of loving each of your family members exactly as they are and watch how it appears in the most wondrous ways throughout your day.
Choice is a powerful word. No one can take away your ability to choose unless you let them. Yet so many parents choose to parent from someone else's experience. You parent according to how you were parented, or from your own past experience, or according to something you have seen or read about. All of these come from the past and have nothing to do with right now and who YOU are. Your child doesn't want you to parent them from your past experience but who you are right now in the current relationship you have with your child.
You can beyourvery best right now or you can resort to a past experience, you can choose to act like someone else or you can be yourself.
The key word in this KidBit is “NOW”. We can easily be caught in the past and the future, but it’s the present moment where everything important really happens. Reading this KidBit right now pulls you into the present moment, what are you getting right now from this, you are tuning to who you are as a parent and that's who your child deserves to be parented by, not your parents and not some parenting expert but by you the real you with all your foibles and questions. Make the choice right now to be the best YOU can be and Be YOU!!
Going back to school can be an exciting time as well as a trying time on you and your relationship with your child. Most importantly it is a time to be gentle with yourself and your child. Kids are going from the wonderful summer holidays (however that looks), being outside, free to do what they want when they want (to a point depending on their situation) to being stuck inside all day being told what to do by different people.
Some of them love to get back to school, to their friends and to a change in schedule but when they get back to school it can mean sitting for long periods of time, being inside and being controlled. Kids are also bombarded with a lot of negativity and frustration from other children, teachers, parents etc....
Therefore its a time to be very gentle with your child while they go through the transition time and very gentle with yourself while you go through what your child goes through. Remember you are in this relationship together, you are a team. If you get into arguments you're fighting with the external forces that are affecting both of you, don't take that out on your child. Your child is only an innocent bystander to what's going on around them, support them as they make their way through the transition. Be on their side, that builds a great relationship.
Hi all, sorry for the delay in writing but it's been a heck of a month. My younger daughter and I took my older daughter to Montreal to get settled in her new apartment in downtown Montreal. What an exciting time in her life. She took a few years off school to work and is now starting to study what she loves, literature and classic civilizations, she is the Goddess of all knowledge of the Greek,Roman and Egyptian Gods and Goddesses. If you have a question about ancient mythology or just about any history, she is your girl. She knows and loves it all. Now she gets to study with others who also love it. There is not one class she has to take that she doesn't love. What a change from regular school.
This passion of hers is all because of the most wonderful 2 teachers or all time. She had a teacher in grade 6 and 7 that truly inspired his students and used creativity rather than force and boredom to teach them. My daughter would come home saying she didn't learn anything and just had fun but at the dinner table she would spout off all kinds of ancient Egyptian, Roman and Greek mythology without blinking an eye. It just rolled off her tongue and stayed with her. She had another teacher in grade 10 and 11 who inspired her with more modern history. He was fun and he loved what he was doing and passed that onto to his students.
I would like to thank all the parents and teachers out there who inspire their children and students and instill a passion for life and learning. I thank you on behalf of myself and my lovely daughters who both love to learn. It makes going back to school an exciting and wonderful adventure.
The first clue that you're not a bad parent is that you thought you might be. A bad parent wouldn't think they are a bad parent. How's that for an easy answer....
OK I will give you more. First of all what is "bad" and in whose opinion. What is the "bad" based on. I think back at a time not that long ago where I found myself saying "oh I am such a bad parent when it comes to feeding my kids". Well my kids jumped all over me for that one. "You are not a bad parent, you're just not a great cook" and they laugh.
I realized in that moment that once again I had fallen into the trap of thinking I have to have all the answers and be perfect or I am a "bad" parent. How could i expect myself to be good at everything my kids need. If I am, where does their value fit in. Since I can't cook my younger daughter has learned to cook for herself and is really good at it. She makes us some great meals. If I had been good at that too she may never have found that out about herself until she moved out on her own. What a loss to her and to us.
Do yourself a favour and whenever you think you are a bad parent, turn it around and give yourself 5 compliments instead. I looked at what I am really good at and one of them is my passion for nutrition, I may not be able to cook but I know what foods are good for us and what aren't and why. In my travels through my nutrition research I found Univera, an amazing company that is all about nutrition, integrity and the environment, another area I am very food at. I am very grateful for my perseverance in finding a company that gives us what we need. It has fast easy ways of not only giving my kids really good food they can grab on the run but it can repair the body on a cellular level. I never would have found that if I had been a good cook. Hooray for my lack of cooking skills!!!
You can find out more about this great company and products:
If you're anything like me, you have some niggling past hurts gnawing at the edges of your mind. These past pains weigh you down and can even prevent you from reaching your true potential. They can highly effect what you model for your child and what they learn for themselves. But I'm here to tell you that you can release all that ... and even prevent yourself from building up those weights again!
My friend and colleague, Kristin Robertson,has asked me to participate in an amazing,life-affirming event next week and I'd really like you to join me.
It's called the "Forgiveness and Emotional Release Telesummit" and features seven presentations over seven days, each one focused on a technique for releasing negative emotions.
What makes this event different is you don't have to rearrange your schedule or even leave your home to attend. Each session is being broadcast via online streaming audio and will be available for your listening pleasure for a full 24 hours!
To learn more and register to attend this FREE event, just go to this webpage:
I had a blast recording my session and look forward to what the other six presenters will be sharing!
PS: Image the freedom you'll experience when you let go of the negative emotions that are like a ball and chain weighing you down. Free yourself and your child from your past and live in the moment.
I had the honour of attending a bridal shower yesterday and there were babies there. I was lucky enough to hold one as he fell asleep in my arms. What a precious time, to have this beautiful being be so content as to fall asleep amongst the hustle and bustle (yes you heard right I said hustle and bustle... what is bustle anyway and did I spell it right?) where was I, oh ya hustle and bustle of this party. I got to experience life in those moments.
It really is so simple. Our main purpose is to experience life, the ups and downs, the people, their behaviour and choices they make. This little one will make his choices based on his experiences and so on. It reminded me that we are here to be here so we might as well make our choices and then live the life we choose rather than wasting any more time on regretting the choices we made. I mean once we experience the feeling of regret, do we really need to experience it over and over again or is once enough.
I have decided that once is enough and if I start to regret something I have done, said or a choice I make, then I will stop myself right away and say "I already checked the experience of regret off my list, I don't need to do that again" and that will be the choice for that minute.
I am learning from these precious little beings in every moment. What about you, any great aha moments?
My eldest daughter turned 21 yesterday, WOW, where did the time go. It was only yesterday that she was born after an hour and a half of labour. She changed my world at 10:22 July 19,1988. From then on it was all wonderful, yes every little bit, from the colic to the first steps and first words (Jake, the dog;). She taught me how to love, to be patient, to be compassionate and understanding and to listen.
She stood by me through all my growing pains, not knowing what to do to help her through the colic, how to honour her and her spirited ways, how to see that what she came here to do was to cause change, to bring issues to the surface and have us face them. This was uncomfortable at times but necessary. She has been my best teacher, my most patient learner, and my dearest friend. We have laughed and cried together and it's only the beginning.
She is leaving home for University next month and not only leaving home but moving across the country. She is returning to Montreal her birthplace and mine and will start a life separate from us. It will be a huge change for all of us, a little uncomfortable but mostly exciting. I have another daughter still at home so they are easing me into the next phase I my life very gently and I appreciate that. Over the next year, we will all be changing and growing in completely different ways and I'm looking forward to what we create.
I thought I would share this with you so you can see what's in store for your future. Note to self, make every second count, your mistakes are just as important as your successes, your mistakes teach your child that you are not perfect which keeps you in their reach, it also teaches them that they do not have to be perfect, they are who they are mistakes and successes. Treasure each stage, each conversation, each challenge and each success, they are all precious.
My eldest daughter "Awesome" ( I asked her what anonymous name she would like used in my blogs and Awesome is what she came up with) is leaving in a month for university in her birthplace of Montreal, yikes. She has lived on her own before but always close to her family, now she's moving across the country. I'm sitting with her right now and thinking about what that will look like for all of us. She's very excited and nervous and very excited.... and a little nervous but mostly excited.
Enough about her, what about me, she is one of my closest friends. I know, I know, there are all kinds of beliefs that parents are not supposed to be friends with their kids and I completely disagree with that. It is important to be the parent as well but that does not exclude friendship.
It's amazing what I have been processing during this transition, where my mind goes. I think about having an extra room in the house, clearing out old junk that we don't need anymore. Then I feel guilty that I'm excited for the change only to realize it's a safety mechanism I use to justify her leaving, to allow myself to find a way to make it okay.
It's like when our kids enter the 2 year old stage and they aren't babies anymore, they need us just a little less than when they were babies and we have to justify it, we come up with labels like they are becoming precocious and they are entering the terrible twos anything to justify the change that we may not be prepared for.
I'm learning that when we enter a new phase of life with our children, our position as their parents changes and we just have to adjust our course.
I am now adjusting my course, it's a little scary and also very exciting.
I got inspired today and if I tell you about it then that will push me to get it done and out there.... so here goes. As you who follow me on different technologies know I work in energetics and wavelength and there is a parent wavelength that we can all tap into, the trick is knowing it's there and how to find it. Then there is the whole idea that parents are expected to know what they're doing and not make mistakes. Well I had an epiphany tonight about my next book which will be called "It's Time to Heal the Parent!!"
So all you parents, hold that wavelength for me while I write ethos book, we're in this together, I need to you hold the place of being the most amazing loving, respectful, honouring parent you can be and I will pull the book right out of the wavelength and we'll get this information out their so all parents can ride the wave with us. Wahooo!! Thank you all parents......
